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Pressured Children: Let’s Do Something About It
Psychologist Michael Thompson, the acclaimed author of best-sellers including Raising Cain and The Pressured Child, speaks at St. Luke's.
“I am convinced that one of the greatest barriers to helping children in schools is the fact that parents don't have an accurate view of school...Parents tend to focus on grades and how it is all going to turn out and miss seeing the realities of their child's life as it is lived day to day."
-Dr. Michael Thompson
The St. Luke’s community recently welcomed preeminent child psychologist and best-selling author Michael Thompson to its Hilltop campus. Two events, one for parents and one for faculty, were co-hosted by the school’s academic leaders and Parents’ Association as part of St. Luke’s ongoing focus on student well-being.
St. Luke’s parent David Mortamais, a Greenwich resident, admired Thompson’s “down to earth” style and core message: “I liked his point that your job as a parent is just to help your child grow as he naturally wishes to grow, versus trying to be fully in charge, and deciding how your child should evolve, or where he should go to college.”
Mortamais also appreciated that Thompson’s advice was based on years of experiences with real families: “He gave concrete, interesting examples of how parents can be very demanding with their children and expect them to achieve things we did not necessarily achieve ourselves at the same age—to be very organized, to always be on top of the homework load, and have great grades.”
Thompson's message also resonated with parent Penelope Jones, a resident of New Canaan, who said: “ I came away feeling I can perhaps be a little more relaxed in my children's school journey as they make the most of their time at St Luke’s.”
Thompson is the latest St. Luke’s speaker with insights into the increasing pressures on children and teens. Other speakers include Dr. Lisa D’Amour, best-selling author of Untangled and the newly released Under Pressure and Julie Lythcott-Haims whose Ted Talk “How to Raise Successful Kids—Without Overparenting, has been viewed by over 3 million people.
St. Luke’s Head of School Mark Davis has been bold in his assertion that all schools should prioritize student wellness. St. Luke’s has already implemented limits on homework, later school start times, and a limited cell phone access policy. Davis also appointed psychologist and veteran educator, Gareth Fancher, as St. Luke’s Director of Emotional Intelligence.
In an address to all parents, Davis stated: “You don’t have to look far for evidence that a narrow or too-intense focus on academic achievement doesn’t bode well for students—or for the people they become when they are no longer students...At St. Luke’s we believe the well-being of our students trumps everything else. If we want our students to thrive we must build their ability to connect, to manage challenges, to rejuvenate, and to navigate life’s ups and downs. We need to consistently evaluate our own culture and ask: Is what we’re doing good for students?”
St. Luke’s School is a secular (non-religious), private school in New Canaan, CT for grades 5 through 12 serving over 35 towns in Connecticut and New York. Our exceptional academics and diverse co-educational community foster students’ intellectual and ethical development and prepare them for top colleges. St. Luke’s Center for Leadership builds the commitment to serve and the confidence to lead.
